So, I'm sitting here with my laptop, handing out pretzels to the trick-or-treaters while my girls are off with their friends, and this little boy of about 6 years old walks up with his daddy in tow. I recognize him from about 15 minutes earlier because he's wearing a blue Power Rangers (or some such) costume with big white puffy diamonds on the arms and vinyl boots. The first time he was here he was very polite and thanked me appropriately.
I had just finished talking to another couple of kids when I looked over at him walking across the lawn again towards me. He immediately threw down his bucket and yelled at me "Why did you say 'no'!!!"
His dad looked at him and tried to assure him that I didn't say anything to him. I said "I didn't say 'no' to you. Why would I say 'no' to you?"
His response was to scream at me louder, like an angry scream "WHY! WHY! WHY!" He was turning red in the face and his dad was trying to calm him down without making too big a deal of it. Finally, the kids says "I'm not going trick-or-treating anymore! I'm just going to sit right here!" And with that, he plopped himself right down in the grass.
His dad and I looked at each other kind of perplexed, so I said "You're welcome sit here if you like. Do you want me to get you a chair?" He just made a pouty face and sat there, so I said "You know, I saw someone earlier in the same costume as yours and I thought it was very cool."
"One just like mine?" he asked.
"Yes, just like it. I remember 'cause I wished I had one like it."
He immediately smiled a huge smile and said very excitedly, "I was here earlier! That was me!"
"I thought that was you" I said. After that he was talking to his dad and me in the sweetest voice, just as happy as can be.
Of course, I let him have more pretzels.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Monday, September 22, 2008
"Why Do You Have Earrings And A Ponytail?"
I was asked this very question by a young boy a couple of weeks ago. The answer I gave was a very simple "Well, I've just always liked long hair and earrings." The actual reason is a bit deeper than that.
For about as long as I can remember, I've had long hair. My mom used to keep my hair long when I was a little boy. My dad, of course, didn't like it. There's was a story in my family that my dad actually paid a waitress in a restaurant to say to me "What a cute little girl." Don't know if that's true or not.
I do know that, as a teen, I got a lot of crap for the length of my hair. Guys were always trying to start fights with me. I mostly just ignored them. My step-dad and his friends would just refer to me as "Gay" - as in "Hey Gay, how ya doin'?" That didn't really bother me either. I just never cared too much about what people thought.
I got my first earring March 16th, 1980. It was the Sunday before St. Patrick's Day of my freshman year in high school. I don't know why I remember it that way, I just do. My mom and I agreed that an earring would be cool, so she took me to Piercing Pagoda at the Shore Mall in Pleasantville, NJ. At the time, there were very few boys in school with pierced ears. I remember one kid telling me that if he ever got in a fight with a guy with an earring, the first thing he'd do is grab the earring and rip.
My second piercing came on March 5th, 1982. I remember it because it was the day John Belushi died. A couple friends, my girlfriend and I were in my room listening to music and I decided I wanted a second hole in my left ear. My girlfriend got some ice and a needle and, a few drops of blood later, I was the first in my class to have two holes in my ear.
It was probably about the summer of '84 when I got my right ear pierced. My friend Doug wanted to get his ear pierced for the first time, so I went with him to the Ocean One Mall in Atlantic City. The Piercing Pagoda there was running some kind of deal where you could get two piercings for the price of one. I didn't want a third hole in my left ear, so I decided to do my right. Doug tried to talk me out of it, but I figured people didn't get much cooler than Jimi Hendrix, and he had both ears pierced.
So, why do I still have long hair and earrings? Because when I look in the mirror, I see me looking back. There were, of course, times in my adult life when my hair was short and my ears were jewelry free. This was never by choice, and always because of job restrictions. During these times, I'd look in the mirror and a stranger would look back at me. A stranger who looked like Danny Tanner from Full House. I just never felt right with short hair.
When I got my current job, my hair was short. After I was here for a couple of years and had proved myself to the company, I checked out the dress code and found there were no restrictions on hair length or earrings beyond the size of the earring. Finally, it was me looking back from the mirror.
Fortunately, no one tries to start fights with me anymore. But I do get to live the whole thing all over again as my daughter, who likes to wear all black, tells me that kids pick on her for the way she dresses. I try to tell her that it's ok to be herself and that she just needs to get a thicker skin, but sometimes that's easier said than done.
For about as long as I can remember, I've had long hair. My mom used to keep my hair long when I was a little boy. My dad, of course, didn't like it. There's was a story in my family that my dad actually paid a waitress in a restaurant to say to me "What a cute little girl." Don't know if that's true or not.
I do know that, as a teen, I got a lot of crap for the length of my hair. Guys were always trying to start fights with me. I mostly just ignored them. My step-dad and his friends would just refer to me as "Gay" - as in "Hey Gay, how ya doin'?" That didn't really bother me either. I just never cared too much about what people thought.
I got my first earring March 16th, 1980. It was the Sunday before St. Patrick's Day of my freshman year in high school. I don't know why I remember it that way, I just do. My mom and I agreed that an earring would be cool, so she took me to Piercing Pagoda at the Shore Mall in Pleasantville, NJ. At the time, there were very few boys in school with pierced ears. I remember one kid telling me that if he ever got in a fight with a guy with an earring, the first thing he'd do is grab the earring and rip.
My second piercing came on March 5th, 1982. I remember it because it was the day John Belushi died. A couple friends, my girlfriend and I were in my room listening to music and I decided I wanted a second hole in my left ear. My girlfriend got some ice and a needle and, a few drops of blood later, I was the first in my class to have two holes in my ear.
It was probably about the summer of '84 when I got my right ear pierced. My friend Doug wanted to get his ear pierced for the first time, so I went with him to the Ocean One Mall in Atlantic City. The Piercing Pagoda there was running some kind of deal where you could get two piercings for the price of one. I didn't want a third hole in my left ear, so I decided to do my right. Doug tried to talk me out of it, but I figured people didn't get much cooler than Jimi Hendrix, and he had both ears pierced.
So, why do I still have long hair and earrings? Because when I look in the mirror, I see me looking back. There were, of course, times in my adult life when my hair was short and my ears were jewelry free. This was never by choice, and always because of job restrictions. During these times, I'd look in the mirror and a stranger would look back at me. A stranger who looked like Danny Tanner from Full House. I just never felt right with short hair.
When I got my current job, my hair was short. After I was here for a couple of years and had proved myself to the company, I checked out the dress code and found there were no restrictions on hair length or earrings beyond the size of the earring. Finally, it was me looking back from the mirror.
Fortunately, no one tries to start fights with me anymore. But I do get to live the whole thing all over again as my daughter, who likes to wear all black, tells me that kids pick on her for the way she dresses. I try to tell her that it's ok to be herself and that she just needs to get a thicker skin, but sometimes that's easier said than done.
Monday, September 8, 2008
Friday, August 22, 2008
Keep Making That Face And It'll Stay That Way
I remember as a young boy noticing that cartoons always depicted a frown as a pronounced arch. But this puzzled me because I never really saw someone frown like that. Certainly not so dramatically as they did in drawings. (I'm guessing I had not fully grasped the concept of caricatures at this point.) Of course, it never really bothered me that no one exactly smiled with a capital 'U' in the middle of their face either, but that's me.
Anyhow, I distinctly remember sitting in front of the mirror, trying to make my face frown like the people in cartoons. And with a little work, I succeeded. Sure, it was a strain. My face muscles fought back, telling me this was not a natural position for the corners of my mouth. But soon I had strengthened those muscles and perfected the cartoon frown.
Now, here I am, probably 35 years later, looking at some recent pictures of my playing in a jazz combo and the orchestra:
What the hell?!?
Now, I realize that musicians make all kinds of facial and bodily contortions when they play. Ian Anderson of Jethro Tull performs some sort of gymnastic floor exercise when he's playing his flute and Joe Cocker appears to be having a seizure when he sings. Numerous guitarists make painful faces, as if it's physically hurting them to make their guitar speak. Premier jazz bassist Rufus Reid goes between two facial expressions: bemused wonder (with pursed lips and wide eyes) and extreme joy (greatest grin I ever did see).
Me? With my furrowed brow and cartoon frown, I have a look that hovers somewhere between anger and sadness, probably because I can't get the bass to play what I'm telling it to play.
When I was in the recording studio last night, I thought about my expression when I'm playing. I had to make a conscious effort to not look angry. I can only image what kind of grimace I came up with. Maybe that's why the engineer kept asking me if I was ok.
These pictures got me wondering just how often I make this face. Do I go through life with a perpetual frown just because I made faces as a kid? Is this why no one ever talks to me? I've found myself looking in my rear view mirror on more than one occasion while driving, trying to turn my frown upside down. I was doing the same thing the other day in the restroom at work before someone else walked in and I had to hurry and pretend to wash my hands.
The thing is, I've seen pictures of me when the photographer yells "Say cheese". I don't look natural. You can see the pain in my eyes. The muscle strain of having to hold my mouth in this awkward, foreign position. Hell, even when I have no expression at all, my mouth isn't straight across; it dips down on the ends. It'll be interesting to see what I look like in 30 or 40 more years...a grumpy old curmudgeon that kids throw eggs at.
Can you train yourself to smile at 44?
Anyhow, I distinctly remember sitting in front of the mirror, trying to make my face frown like the people in cartoons. And with a little work, I succeeded. Sure, it was a strain. My face muscles fought back, telling me this was not a natural position for the corners of my mouth. But soon I had strengthened those muscles and perfected the cartoon frown.
Now, here I am, probably 35 years later, looking at some recent pictures of my playing in a jazz combo and the orchestra:
What the hell?!?Now, I realize that musicians make all kinds of facial and bodily contortions when they play. Ian Anderson of Jethro Tull performs some sort of gymnastic floor exercise when he's playing his flute and Joe Cocker appears to be having a seizure when he sings. Numerous guitarists make painful faces, as if it's physically hurting them to make their guitar speak. Premier jazz bassist Rufus Reid goes between two facial expressions: bemused wonder (with pursed lips and wide eyes) and extreme joy (greatest grin I ever did see).
Me? With my furrowed brow and cartoon frown, I have a look that hovers somewhere between anger and sadness, probably because I can't get the bass to play what I'm telling it to play.
When I was in the recording studio last night, I thought about my expression when I'm playing. I had to make a conscious effort to not look angry. I can only image what kind of grimace I came up with. Maybe that's why the engineer kept asking me if I was ok.
These pictures got me wondering just how often I make this face. Do I go through life with a perpetual frown just because I made faces as a kid? Is this why no one ever talks to me? I've found myself looking in my rear view mirror on more than one occasion while driving, trying to turn my frown upside down. I was doing the same thing the other day in the restroom at work before someone else walked in and I had to hurry and pretend to wash my hands.
The thing is, I've seen pictures of me when the photographer yells "Say cheese". I don't look natural. You can see the pain in my eyes. The muscle strain of having to hold my mouth in this awkward, foreign position. Hell, even when I have no expression at all, my mouth isn't straight across; it dips down on the ends. It'll be interesting to see what I look like in 30 or 40 more years...a grumpy old curmudgeon that kids throw eggs at.
Can you train yourself to smile at 44?
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
The List
The other day, my wife posted her "freebie list". None of these choices surprised me; her list has been pretty consistent over the years. This, of course, prompted me to compose my list. Sounds like fun, right?
We always joke about "the list" and who's on it. It's a fun game of "what if" that is never really taken seriously (well, usually - I did have a relationship broken-up once by someone who looked uncannily like David Lee Roth, who happened to be on her list).
So, who do I include on my list? The problem is, my list always seems to change depending on my mood. Ooh, she's on my list! So is she! And her too! What the hell, put him on my list too! How many do we get again?
Putting the list down in a blog is akin to laminating it and putting it in your wallet. This requires some thought. Should I be so obvious as to include Scarlett Johansson and J. Lo? What about the pure fantasy women like Marilyn Monroe, Myrna Loy and Betty Rubble? I just don't feel right including Anne Hathaway and Melissa Joan Hart.
That being said, here's my list...
Christina Applegate
On my list from the moment Kelly Bundy turned of age. I was so happy to see her new show doing well. She's a classic beauty with that certain girl-next-door quality. It seems almost a shame to include her on such a crass list. Almost.
Rosario Dawson
While Rachel Leigh Cook was adorable as Josie, Rosario's Valerie brought the real sex appeal to Josie & The Pussycats. Follow that with dancing and singing in Rent and kicking ass in Grindhouse, and she easily earns a spot on my list.
Charlize Theron
Beautiful, smart, talented. What's not to like about Charlize Theron?
I loved that she took on the Monster role, and fought hard for it. Very brave. Which brings me to the next entry on my list...
Christina Ricci
What can I say? She appeals to my quirky side. Sure, she's done family/children features like Casper and Speed Racer, but she's done some pretty raunchy stuff too. I haven't seen Black Snake Moan because, frankly, I'm scared. She never seems one to play it safe.
Her alternates would be Bjork and Helena Bonham Carter.
Queen Latifah
This woman is just downright gorgeous. She exudes confidence from every pore. Her voice is wonderful and she's not afraid to be exactly who she is. Oh, and the curves!
So there you have it. That's my list. Some of my favorite TV and movie "girlfriends" are notably absent: Jami Gertz, Dinah Manoff and Ann-Margaret spring immediately to mind. Oh, and Valerie Bertinelli. And Janeane Garofalo. And...
I love you honey :)
We always joke about "the list" and who's on it. It's a fun game of "what if" that is never really taken seriously (well, usually - I did have a relationship broken-up once by someone who looked uncannily like David Lee Roth, who happened to be on her list).
So, who do I include on my list? The problem is, my list always seems to change depending on my mood. Ooh, she's on my list! So is she! And her too! What the hell, put him on my list too! How many do we get again?
Putting the list down in a blog is akin to laminating it and putting it in your wallet. This requires some thought. Should I be so obvious as to include Scarlett Johansson and J. Lo? What about the pure fantasy women like Marilyn Monroe, Myrna Loy and Betty Rubble? I just don't feel right including Anne Hathaway and Melissa Joan Hart.
That being said, here's my list...
Christina ApplegateOn my list from the moment Kelly Bundy turned of age. I was so happy to see her new show doing well. She's a classic beauty with that certain girl-next-door quality. It seems almost a shame to include her on such a crass list. Almost.
Rosario DawsonWhile Rachel Leigh Cook was adorable as Josie, Rosario's Valerie brought the real sex appeal to Josie & The Pussycats. Follow that with dancing and singing in Rent and kicking ass in Grindhouse, and she easily earns a spot on my list.
Charlize TheronBeautiful, smart, talented. What's not to like about Charlize Theron?
I loved that she took on the Monster role, and fought hard for it. Very brave. Which brings me to the next entry on my list...
Christina RicciWhat can I say? She appeals to my quirky side. Sure, she's done family/children features like Casper and Speed Racer, but she's done some pretty raunchy stuff too. I haven't seen Black Snake Moan because, frankly, I'm scared. She never seems one to play it safe.
Her alternates would be Bjork and Helena Bonham Carter.
Queen LatifahThis woman is just downright gorgeous. She exudes confidence from every pore. Her voice is wonderful and she's not afraid to be exactly who she is. Oh, and the curves!
So there you have it. That's my list. Some of my favorite TV and movie "girlfriends" are notably absent: Jami Gertz, Dinah Manoff and Ann-Margaret spring immediately to mind. Oh, and Valerie Bertinelli. And Janeane Garofalo. And...
I love you honey :)
Monday, August 18, 2008
Reports: DeGeneres and de Rossi wed in California
Found this article on Yahoo this morning:
BEVERLY HILLS, Calif. - There was much dancing: Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi are married, according to reports.Congrats to the happy couple. I hope the people of California allow them to remain married.
In the biggest celebrity union since California legalized same-sex marriage, DeGeneres, 50, and de Rossi, 35, wed Saturday night in an intimate ceremony at their Beverly Hills home, People and Us Magazine reported.
A publicist for DeGeneres confirmed People's report and gave no further comment.
After the California Supreme Court's ruling in May, the talk-show host announced that she and de Rossi would wed after four years together.
The ceremony was attended by 19 guests, including DeGeneres' mom, Betty, and de Rossi's mother, Margaret Rogers, who had flown in from Australia, People.com reported Saturday night.
DeGeneres said after winning her fourth consecutive Daytime Emmy for talk show host in June that a date had not been set, and that she would show "a tiny bit" of the nuptials on her show.
While opponents in California have gathered signatures to put a measure on the November ballot for a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage, Hollywood was throwing its support behind the newlyweds.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
What Breed of Liberal Are You?
Here's what I got. How about you?
My Liberal Identity:
You are a Peace Patroller, also known as an anti-war liberal or neo-hippie. You believe in putting an end to American imperial conquest, stopping wars that have already been lost, and supporting our troops by bringing them home.
Take the quiz at www.FightConservatives.com
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